Playing the Joker Card

“Do not take life too seriously. You will not get out alive.” – Elbert Hubbard.

Once a month my friend performs a tarot card reading with me for fun. It provides another opportunity to internally seek answers and solutions that I need at the time. The other day she pulled the joker card, or better known as ‘The Fool’. My ego bristled immediately, and gave the deck a, “Who ya calling fool, fool?” glare.

My friend patiently explained this card was a reminder for me to have fun in life, laugh more, and not take things too seriously. Okay, I could dig it.

As business leaders we have a lot of eyes watching us. I believe it is important to keep a great sense of humor about us in everything we do, especially in business! If we accept there will always be fires to put out, quarterly goals to hit, and shareholders to please, it’s easier to remember ‘why were here working our tails off’ in the first place and occasionally loosen our tight grips on the reins.

Allow your employees to see you let your hair down
By being both commanding and relatable, we create a balance of authority and friendship in the workplace. I find long-term success and happiness this way by reminding my team that I am a person too, sharing the same desire to cut loose after a long days work and relax.

Admit your screw-ups (And laugh at yourself, will ya!)
Face it. We all make mistakes! You’re not fooling anyone by pretending you’re perfect.

Employees see everything, including that awkward, unprepared speech we gave last week, the trash we left in the break room because we were too lazy to clean up, and the blame we placed on the new guy for something he didn’t do.

Here are a few practice items to get you started:

Experiment #1: Rock out in your car, even on the way in to your company parking lot

You know what I’m talking about! You love the songs that make you feel like Karaoke King/Queen, but you’re embarrassed to admit it: Backstreet Boys, The Bee Gee’s, or even Brittany Spears. Sing your heart out and do not think for a moment who is watching while you pump your air guitar or make-believe microphone to Cher.

Experiment #2: Boogie on down at the company party

(I retract this statement if you dance like Elaine Benice from Seinfield)

Experiment #3: Publicly make fun of yourself about something at the next company meeting

The Joker card reminds us to keep a sense of humor at all times. We can dissolve barriers, potential resentments, and workplace gossip by taking the ‘wind out’ of our own blemishes, first.

Becoming a more relatable, transparent boss can be a freeing experience. It’s created less stress for me, fewer skeletons in the closet, and better sleep at night!

Zen and Fast Food Ordering

I had a wake up call the other day when I found myself getting snappy and raising my voice on the phone at the Pizza Hut lady. She didn’t listen to a word I said, and kept repeating unwanted ‘specials’ for the week. When I did the pizza pick-up, I met the lady I’d been abrupt with. She was a woman in her 40s, but she looked to be at least 60 and barely hanging on. She appeared tired and beat down by life’s unending cruelties, and offered a depressed apology when she realized it was me, the lady from the phone call. The mean lady!

So I slunk away with my extra large veggie pizza in my new Mercedes to rejoin my upbeat, opportunistic life… far, far away from her world. And I was embarrassed.

Instead of forgetting about this incident, I thought back to all the many conversations I’ve had with our fast food friends; they take our thankless orders, survive hours on a food assembly line, and continually deliver us delicious and highly non-nutritious treats. I know they’re trained to speak using scripts and formulaic interaction with clients, yet every time I placed an order, I had the desire to deliver all the information with the stern, jack rabbit quickness of a drill sergeant, in hopes that the fast food worker would adapt to my style of communication.

Worker: “Hello Miss, Welcome to (fill in the blank), can I take your order please?”

Amie: “Hi, yes, I’d like one Meal #3, hold the onions, a large coke, easy ice, extra ketchup and napkins, and a side of special sauce, to go please! I’m paying cash.”

Worker: “Do you want onions on that?”

Amie: “No, um, I just said…”

Worker: “What kind of drink do you want?”

Amie: “I already told you, coke.”

Worker: “Is this for here or to go?”

Amie: (sigh) “To go.”

Worker: “Is that cash or credit?”

Amie: “Take the $10 out of my hand that I’m waving at you!”

Amie: (In my car driving away) “Doh! They forgot my special sauce.”

I took a few lessons from this reminder and metaphor in life, some of which I’ll discuss in later blogs. Firstly, I am thankful for these fast food workers doing the job we don’t want to do, (someone has to make our burgers, sandwiches and pizza!) I have not walked in their shoes, and frankly the closest I’ve come to a fast food job was 1-hour a day cafeteria food preparation stint when I was a freshman in high school.

Secondly, I should not treat my communication style like a project manager’s efficiency contest. Not everyone processes information the same way. As business professionals and leaders, we must adjust our communication styles, levels, and nuances to connect best with our employees, investors and clients–not the other way around. (Face it; we do what we do because we’re fantastic communicators.)

Lastly, patience is a virtue that we should foster daily. (For me, sometimes it’s an hourly effort.) Practicing Zen while ordering fast food is a great place to start! This wonderfully woven tapestry of diversity among people is the spice of life. If we look at interactions with individuals, and make it a point to mindfully connect in a relatable space, we are presented with an incredible and endless opportunity, versus a chore. I’d take a smile and brief but positive exchange with a stranger, over getting my special sauce on my hamburger any day!

The Titanic Method

Sometimes to psych myself up to call billionaires on the phone, pitch a group of high-powered investors, or even interview a celebrity that I’m admittedly intimidated by, I use the Titanic Method. (I designed it as my own self-help tool.)

We’ve all watched the epic film James Cameron directed, so I want you to play along with me for a moment. Close your eyes and imagine you’re on the vessel the night it’s going down. Since I need you to keep reading, hold that image in your mind’s eye and remember the heartbreaking chaos that took place that evening.

As the ship began to sink and passengers finally realized how serious the situation was and their death was eminent, the bipolar effects of peace and acknowledgement, vs. panic and gut-wrenching fear permeated the air. Ship mechanics were trapped in the filling compartments as they desperately tried to repair their vessel. 1st class and Steerage dividing lines disappeared as everyone was fighting for their lives. It no longer mattered if you had $1,000,000 in the bank and traveled in the penthouse suite, or you only had the clothes on your back and won your passage on the Titanic in a poker game.

So you may be thinking this is an odd exercise on the morbid side. Perhaps? I use this imagery to accomplish three things: 1) No amount of money, prestige, title or experience can truly separate mankind, especially in catastrophic and trying situations. It’s the leveling field, and often when the shakedown happens you realize who flourishes in tough spots. I wonder what type of person I would have been, if on the Titanic as she went under. 2) I am reminded we are all ‘one’ and it makes me live with more compassion for my fellow humanity. (Yes, even while I’m getting skewered by doubters, investors, media, etc.) At the end of the day, as it’s been since the beginning of time, we are human beings that seek happiness and peace, have needs to fulfill, want to avoid suffering, and are learning about life on our own sacred journeys. 3) Big Sigh! I am not on that sinking ship and my life is great. Why make things scarier than they need to be for myself?

Try this exercise the next time you’re scared, intimidated or just want to feel connected to people and erase any invisible barriers.

Written on 9.11.07 in tribute those who acted with courage and character when the planes and towers went down.

Why am I Doing This?

When was the last time you heard an interview or read an article about a CEO spilling their guts and sharing the nitty gritty details of their stumbles, mistakes and lessons learned on their journey to becoming a successful leader?It’s rare. Advice and inspirational stories from the top of those who’ve ‘made it’ are nice and all, however they seem less relatable. The times I have heard CEOs, celebrities, politicians and business professionals truly share their blemishes, mishaps and awkward moments along the way…I’m enthralled. “Hey, they’re regular people too!” The dividing line between them and me seems to erase, and I will sit back and listen and learn with fascination. I may even be compelled to support their organization, buy their product or get involved in what they’re doing.

When the walls of self-imposed need for appearing perfect and powerful come down, the real human being starts to emerge. I decided a while ago that I would never compromise my values, character, and quirks that make me, me–during the course of building the Girl Powered empire. And as I become more comfortable in my own skin, I find it easier just to ‘be me’ and waste less energy and time on being fearful of what people think.

So with our CEO Exposed! Podcast show and Blog, we have an opportunity to experiment with being transparently real to the world.